YO! This kitchen staff is nuts right now!

OMG. I don't even know where to begin. This post is such a long time coming. But the story keeps just getting better and better, that I needed to sit down for a minute and get this down. My last post, aka my first work post was written just before I jumped back in back there. I knew shit was gonna go down, and it has... but after what happened today... wow. What a fucking day.

Also, I re-read my last kitchen post. It being my first work blog post, it was very manicured. Too clean, and though it's who I wish I could aspire to be, it just isn't me. It's like when you are taking your shirt off for the first time at a public pool. That timidness is captured in that first post. So... continuing with the metaphor... the shirts off... and *Welp*.... welcome to me and my life.

Like I said, its' been about 5 weeks since "W" the fat chinese chef left. I've taken his spot. We were about a half man over staffed and "A" wanted to work more so he picked up Sunday and I'm picking up 75% of "W"'s shifts and 50% of his responsibilites. I haven't had much practice in his station because he was always working, but I cook there 2 or 3 days a week now and i'm getting the hang of it pretty good. We brought on "A"'s aunt "AA" to help prep in the mornings about 3 weeks ago. She's pretty old, but her husband died and she needs something to do. She's in there about 3 hours a day 4 days a week and has been doing a good job so far.

About 3 weeks ago my One dishwasher, "Maria" quit. My other dishie "M" had been having ailment issues and no called no showed me for a weekend and and just like that, I was in "Dishwasher Hell" as I call it. What is "Dishwasher Hell"? you ask? Dishwasher Hell is the period in time where you don't have a dishwasher. What that entails is putting an Ad on Clist and pray your lead dragging across the bottom of the lake dredges up something good. Generally what happens is you get a lot of interest right off the bat, like.. day 1, 2, 3. People are texting, and calling and everyone sounds like a good applicant. I usually do a quick phone interview right off the bat and start scheduling people to come in and work a shift and then we see what's up. So we book guys for the next 3 evenings. Done right?! Nope! Not in dishwasher hell. And because I've been in Dishwasher hell before I say to every single applicant "Hey bro, will you please just do me a favor, if you decide not to come in, will you let me know ASAP so i can try to find somebody to fill your spot and not be left without a dishwasher?" - And the response EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME. is "Don't worry. I'll be there. I got you bro!" - Well... in Dishwasher hell, these asshole NEVER SHOW UP. NEVER CALL AND NEVER SAY ANYTHING. EVERY FUCKING TIME. And then guess what happens. It's like 4:30pm (I tell them all to come at 3:30) we don't have a dishwasher, and every single one of me 20 employess individually asks me "Hey, why isn't there a dishwasher???" - It's like 'come the fuck on people'. Then I go back there and just crank them out. And between me and me (because nobody reads this thing), I actually like doing the dishes. It's kind of hard but not hard work. It's wet work, but with the right shoes and apron and full acceptance of sweet - wet -saucey -rice everywhere - soupy chicken piece with soggy vegetables., it's really not that bad. There's a big pile of mess, and turn on some music and crank it out. Each step improving on being faster and more efficient. See progress and receive INSTANT gratification of a job well done. Turn on some jams, nobody talks to me (They feel unwarranted sympathy for me) and crank it out. It's honestly very therapeutic.

"M" ended coming back, ready to work. She was planning on going to take a week off to see her kids and needed the money. Her life has really been a mess, and she's been getting rocked by health problems. Unsure really if she was gonna come back. She left that uncertainty open ended, but wanted to work everyday until she left. The day after she was scheduled to leave, I had a long planned 1.5 Day fishing trip that I was already gearing up for, which was during Saturday and returning Mother's day morning. So I needed not just 1 dishwasher, but 2 dishwashers if I was gonna get a chance to go on this fishing trip! (And the boats have been limiting out on 40-80lb bluefin for the last 2 weeks). I really try everything to make limited plans and comittments, but when I make them, I do everything in my power to keep them. I hate the feeling of work getting in the way of the limited moments of life that I really try and plan out ahead of time. It makes me feel like I have no control.

Back to what really happened this time through Dishwasher Hell. It wasn't so bad this time. I only had to wash dishes for about 3 or 4 days with 2 no show's.... "M" came back as mentioned ready to work and wanted to work 6 shifts a week until she left. That saved me in the stability department, but she needed help. I put up my standard Ad on Sunday and literally got NO HITS. I reconnected with "BG" an old employee that was super chill, and a decent worker, but he no called no showed me before so I was hesitant, but he said he needed work. So we let him in one day just before "M" came back. "BG" was supposed to come in that upcoming weekend and work with "M" but he flaked again! MOTHER FUCKER! but.. my fault. I should've known better. My ad got no hits, so I sat down and rewrote my ad. More free flowing like this, and less robotic. I had copied and pasted some boilerplate text and I think it drives people away? Or the fact that i posted that first ad Sunday night vs, the new ad on Friday night. But something worked and I got lots of hits! I started booking appointments starting on M's last week and also the last week before my fishing trip. They worked alongside "M" to train. Both guys, worked out, each worked 2 shift that last week. "H" and "Sd" and both promised to work Saturday while I was gone fishing and Sunday, mother's day. I told them $75 bonus each if they work through the weekend, and not sure if that had anything to do with it, but it bought me a bit of piece of mind for the fishing trip and mother's day. When I showed up to work on mothers day, there they were! beautiful! So that was this last week.

In my interviews last week, I met a guy who seemed cool. A Bit older but said he had knife skills and been working in kitchens 20 years. He messaged me on Tuesday saying he wanted to come in. So for the last 2 days we been training "V" to JwaMa (which, means literally "Grab Stuff). JwaMa is the quarterback of the line. The JwaMa is the one who reads the ticket and tells the line cooks what to cook by a visual system containing different combinations of vegetables and spices, meats and modifiers to signify to the chef what to cook. One that can read the tickets and translate those words into the appropriate combination of stuff on plates and in boxes efficiently, that can control the line efficiently and make the dance between the dine-in, take out and delivery service flow continuously is best. But anyways... "V" is in. His knife skills suck and he's not a quick study. Today I asked him " 'V' what's in the Cashew Chicken?" - kind of jokingly; just straight Tee'd it up for him. To prep the plate, the answer is "Cashews". And while holding a plate of Cashews, I ask him this question, he yells back "Peanuts"---- Like..... Are you fucking kid me bro?? that might be the dumbest thing I've heard in at least 5 of 6 years. And also... "M" is back!!

So... because i'm getting tired... and I think we've developed sufficient back story to continue. Today was a big day! Starting off.... my head chef "P" calls out for personal reasons, and it's literally my first time running the whole kitchen through prep and lunch service by myself. And we crushed it. Did everything as scheduled even shorthanded and with the usual 45 minute tardy by "A".

While out crusing the golf cart to vons with "BRK" I get an email. "Is the Wok Position still available?" - pretty much the sexiest 6 words i've never heard before. Instant call, sounds spry and young and says he's got over 10 years experience. Come on in. Next call, is my uncle "L3", who's day off it was saying he could cover for "P"- I'm in the money.

4 o clock rolls around, L3 is prepping, E's at the fryer, A is late, and I'm teaching M and V how to make fried rice one at a time, and my 2 new dishies "U" who's also a contruction worker and is dressed like a contstruction worker and "SD" who's a tatted up buff ass ex conn, who's dressed like a tatted up buff ass excon with a powder blue cap and a home brought powder blue apron are banging out dishes.

I'm working through some plates and in walks PAPI. A portly Mexican dude, in a black and red Chef's coat with the words PAPI over the breast w/ Matching hat and TWO pairs of designer sunglasses on comes in. I call him over to watch me bust out a few plates and asks him if can cook a Lo Mein. He says "yes" - I hand him the reins. From the instant they touch the ladle, how they grip the wok, how long they heat it before splashing the oil...... you know. If you know... you instantly know if somebody has the mastery of the art between wok and flame. Heat, Oil and Metal... and boom. The bang! the slash, the way the oil lit up in a controlled blaze. The fearlessness of having been there before. No Surprises.... everything according to plan. The confidence and surefootedness and even the swagger it takes to dance with the jet flame is immediately evident. And Papi's got it! The number of young wok chef's out there are less than the number of Lions in San Diego Zoo... I guarantee it! Today I found a unicorn. Or a unicorn found me. Or destiny brought us together. Or God brought this man to me. Whatever! On a day, when my Head chef falls ill, on the day where I take full lead and plan with full commitment to lead my troops into battle; In strolls Papi and his designer shades... with years of experience running Chinese kitchens multitudes larger than mine just looking for a chill part time job to WORK because he's bored, because he's passionate, and because he just loves cranking out dishes in loud, hot heat. FUCK YEA!

He stays the night and works the shift. I coach him through the dishes and he executes. He wants to cook and work hard and help me make it better. Make it grow. And best of all, he's a trainer.. and knows how to train new staff. I think I'm gonna learn a lot from him and I think he's gonna fit in really well with the staff we got. He likes our vibe. So yeah! I'm stoked. We agreed to a part time schedule, and I think it provides a few days of much needed relief for my uncles.

Two weeks ago I was doing dishes with no hope for bodies to build a future with. Couldn't get a hit on a hire! Today I've got a fucking army in there. Lets count them, ME, A, L3, E, J, AA, M, V, PAPI, H, SD- 11! Damn. That's kinda crazy to think about. There were almost too many people and it was like.. holy shit.. look at all this labor right now! And I'm paying people a bit more than they're worth, but I'm hoping that comes to reward me with less turnover and more loyalty. It's a fucking ECLECTIC bunch in there right now. Like.. EXCLECTIC AS FUCK in there. It's so fucking rag tag with ex druggies, cons, and semi decrepit misfits, that honestly... I feel like I'm coaching the football from "The Replacements" but now with Papi, we just might be able to make this work.

So that was my last 5 weeks. Just a cascading waterfall of "Shits about to hit the fan" and literally right as shit's about to hit the fan, it doesn't, then another shit's about to hit the fan, and right as we embrace taking that shit head on, it doesn't. "P"'s all good and coming back and we.... once again.... after being dirtied and bruised are on our way back up the waterfall for as far as we can before we begin our inevitable descent back down the "shits about to hit the fan" waterfall. Lets fucking go!

-LawN 5-12-22